notmiddleearth | - Two Kiwis - Phone - Action

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- Two Kiwis - Phone - Action - Multiple Choice~

[New Zealand is and always has been, a very active girl, from her colony days, running around in Australia's clothes, to the modern day, running around in clothes that still resembled Australia's clothes. That's why, today, she can be found:]

A. Running around town, chasing after a sheep. The sheep seems to be winning, but as he stops to chew some grass, New Zealand takes a flying tackle at him, laughing as the sheep bahh's loudly, before going back to chewing on the grass, shaking slightly until New Zealand takes the hint and tumbles off, lying down next to him.]

B.[Wandering around the streets with a airy look on her face, New Zealand's off in her own little world. The sheep's now in her arms, looking quite unfussed with the situation - Hey, he's getting a free lift. New Zealand's obviously been exploring, dirt stains on her knees and a few leaves stuck in her hair. She's doesn't really pay an attention at all to where she's walking too.]

C.[Or you can find her in the park, staring at the trees, as if she's trying to work out which is the tallest. She seems to be studying them quite seriously, as if she plans to climb one.]

Phonecall: [Unfiltered, made about midday, taking place between B and C]

...So did everyone else have a really weird Valentines?

[Laughs] Imagine if we were dating Oz, wouldn't that be really weird? Man, guess it's good it's over, right?

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Mm, I told him a bit and he started yellin' at me.

So mum is here? Thought I saw him, and he did start calling me Christine and all, but he seemed really weird so I figured it was just one of those drone thingies...

He didn't yell too much did he? On a scale of you put a cricket ball through the neighbour's window to you took the last cup of Earl Grey, how bad was it?

He's always weird.

Eeh, around gecko in the sink, I reckon. Not too bad!

Point. Guess it's good I only got the eyebrows then, wouldn't want to have gotten that like you did.

Only gecko in the sink? Thought he would have had a major freak out.

I am a completely different branch of weird than him!

Eh, he got distracted pretty quickly once he started to worry 'bout my wickets or something fucked up like that...

Apple didn't too far from the tree bru. Face it.

... Ya wickets? ... Does he want a game of cricket then? I'm up for it if you are.

We missed the Ashes coz of this shithole, so he owes me a game.

But if he asks about your wickets, tell him to get stuffed. Trust me on this.

Dunno if a one on one game would count anyway Oz. And ya didn't miss much, ya lost again. Need to improve there bru, it looks kinda pathetic losing to someone so old.

And don't tell me what to do, if mum asks me for a round, I'll give him a round. Reckon I could take him, I'm not crap at sport like you.

I'm not talking about cricket, I'm talking 'bout mum being a creeper so, for ya own sanity, tell him to-

[...]

You're fucking lying!

Mum's being a creeper? How? I mean, it's more pathetic, the way he gets all psyched up, you kinda feel sorry for the old man, he might break a hip one day with all the effort he uses to succeed. Feel like to telling him to slow down and smell the roses and stuff, it's okay to go a little slower at that age, and yes mum, you are young at heart and all that stuff. Yanno?

Oi, I never lie. You just suck at sports.

Oh, yeah, I know, but you're better at those speeches than me. I just wanna punch him sometimes.

That's a fucking lie and you fucking know it.

You gotta be patient with the guy. Let him fumble his way around, all awkward like, like he is, and then lead him to the conclusion yourself. [Yes I am doing this on purpose, I am horrible, deal with it.]

Nah, you really do fucking suck, mate.

[Australia has long since surrendered to the idea that his little sister is just too sweet, cute and innocent to understand what he was initially talking about.] But that takes forever. Like, literally, sometimes.

I will take you on right now, any sport you want excepttheonestodowithsnow and thrash your bloody arse, sheepshagger.

Edited 2011-02-26 12:27 (UTC)

[Or perhaps she understands completely and is just being a dork... it's as unsure as her gender] Hey, slow and steady wins the race. But you've never had any patience, really. Always thinking of how to get somewhere quick, and never considering the scenic route.

What, like you try and fail to do so in rugby? Fine then. What about bungee jumping or sky diving?

Face it Oz, you've gotten too relaxed, you won't win anything like that.

Look, if you want Pom to make you go into detail about every sexual exploit you've had, be my guest. He's already planning on hunting down Sophie Balmain the second we get out of here to kill her.

I'll take you on in anything! E-even bungee jumping! Which totally isn't a sport! What the fuck!

.... What? I thought we were talking about cricket and how Mum's old and he can't accept that even if he should? How...

Australia, I think you're a bit confused if you think cricket has anything to do with sex... do I need to give you the talk too? And whose Sophie?

Bungee jumping is a sport, and you're a wuss whose too scared to do it I bet. You get scared of snow after all.

Give Pom the talk, not me. He kept going on about wickets and purity and sex. Sophie doesn't exist, but I hope there's no random sheila with the name by coincidence, because if so, she might be in a spot of trouble one day.

I'm not scared of shit! Fine, we'll go bungee jumping and I'll thrash ya!

You sure? I mean I did have to give Papua and I still feel sorry for Nauru for not realising earlier... Maybe that's why you get so confused, you get it from Mum. You and him both... wonder if America and Canada are just as confused too...

Sounds good then. Better not chicken out at the last second though. And you might wanna lose some weight, you could snap the cord.

Edited 2011-02-26 12:54 (UTC)

Look, Nauru's mostly fine now and you only needed to talk to Ginny coz of girl stuff! [That's what he tells himself, anyway.] If you talk to Norfolk Island, I'll tell the Cook Islands, so don't even try! ... I think Snowy and Seppo might benefit from it though, yeah.

It's all muscle, babe, and I could say the same to you. Too many bickies going straight to your thighs, love?

He screamed last time we were at the beach and I didn't have my rashy on. Don't think he's fine bru. And don't you dare tell Cook, one traumatized kid is enough, got it? Christ, I might as well just gather the whole family around and do it all at once.

[Scoffs] As if. Looks more like pudge around your waistband Oz, and you know I don't give a fuck about my weight. Few kilos here and there won't hurt me after, it's probably good for me.

He's always been a weird kid, though. Ungrateful shit, too. But yeah, clearly you should do this as soon as possible, with as many people listening in as possible. Make sure you mention Pom, Snowy and Seppo all by name.

Muscle. I will strip right in front of ya to prove it. When you start sinking into the ocean coz you weigh too much, don't come crying to me.

Wonder where he gets that from? And yeah, from the sounds of it, you're all in desperate need of a talk... how did you even manage to get a woman, Oz?

Nah, it's fat. And if you need ta, not like I haven't seen all you have to offer after all.

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- Two Kiwis - Phone - Action - Multiple Choice~

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