Three Kiwis - Phone + Action
Mar. 3rd, 2011 09:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
notmiddleearthPhonecall: [A bit after midday, New Zealand makes a call. And doesn't think to filter it because she can be remarkably blunt lile that... Or she just didn't think of it. One of the two.]
So it's come to my attention, mum probably failed in raising most of us, so I'm willing to bet that he never gave any of you a proper talk that didn't involve fairies in some way. Which is okay, I suppose but really you're all grown men, it's actually pretty weird...
So, Oz, Canada, America and even you mum, you should listen. Wy you don't have to, I can give you the talk later. Have to anyway, seeing as whatever Oz said still makes Nauru cry...
Anyway, so first things... Kissing. Now, a kiss is not a contract, so just because you're, yanno, exploring someones mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition to the south. Got it? Cuz it's just rude.
Now, when a man loves a woman, or a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman, whatever, they kiss a lot, and then they decide they want to do more. They wanna... Boom boom boom till the break of dawn if you get my drift. And sometimes, this makes a baby, between the girl and boy at least, girl and girl needs science and boy and boy just ain't happening. You guys understand?
There's no fairies involved or storks or cabbage patches or falling out of tvs or cricket. Those are all just stupid euphemisms people use when they're embarrassed. It's just sex, and it's normal and healthy in moderation.
Any questions?
Action: [Or you can find her out the front of 727 Anderson Lane, going back and forth with buckets of snow, creating a large hill. After a bit, she stops, studying it with a frown. It's no where near big enough to snowboard down, like her original intention was.
So the neighbors won't mind her taking their snow too right?]
So it's come to my attention, mum probably failed in raising most of us, so I'm willing to bet that he never gave any of you a proper talk that didn't involve fairies in some way. Which is okay, I suppose but really you're all grown men, it's actually pretty weird...
So, Oz, Canada, America and even you mum, you should listen. Wy you don't have to, I can give you the talk later. Have to anyway, seeing as whatever Oz said still makes Nauru cry...
Anyway, so first things... Kissing. Now, a kiss is not a contract, so just because you're, yanno, exploring someones mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition to the south. Got it? Cuz it's just rude.
Now, when a man loves a woman, or a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman, whatever, they kiss a lot, and then they decide they want to do more. They wanna... Boom boom boom till the break of dawn if you get my drift. And sometimes, this makes a baby, between the girl and boy at least, girl and girl needs science and boy and boy just ain't happening. You guys understand?
There's no fairies involved or storks or cabbage patches or falling out of tvs or cricket. Those are all just stupid euphemisms people use when they're embarrassed. It's just sex, and it's normal and healthy in moderation.
Any questions?
Action: [Or you can find her out the front of 727 Anderson Lane, going back and forth with buckets of snow, creating a large hill. After a bit, she stops, studying it with a frown. It's no where near big enough to snowboard down, like her original intention was.
So the neighbors won't mind her taking their snow too right?]
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 09:52 am (UTC)Helloooooooo? Is anyone even on this?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 09:54 am (UTC)also: icon keywords are so appropriate right now ydek ]
no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 09:59 am (UTC)Glad to be of service!]
no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:09 am (UTC)So icky!
[ Retching sounds are heard from the other line. They're fake if one can hear well enough. Nena's just trying to make her case more convincing ]
no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:10 am (UTC)Why middle aged women?
[Oh please, don't try that on a troll, she sees straight through it.]
no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 10:43 am (UTC)Her mind floats to Hong Kong and his siblings before she stops ]
Are you guys those people that pretend to be countries too?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 03:04 pm (UTC)You guys have strange nicknames for each other...
no subject
Date: 2011-03-06 12:44 am (UTC)Really? I mean I know Oz has weird names for most of us, but I thought mine were pretty normal...
no subject
Date: 2011-03-06 01:08 am (UTC)[ sobs you're going to have to explain harder ]
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 01:35 am (UTC)[ Her eyes widen in a realization, she's shocked so hard she could become a drone right now! ]
So ... when Nena kisses Hong Kong...she's actually...kissing...Hong Kong?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 11:29 am (UTC)...yep, that's basically it! Or at least you're kissing the personification of Hong Kong.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 05:11 am (UTC)[ click. You can call her back if you want. ]